“The mark of truly good writers, I believe, is they are way ahead of their times.” – Abhaidev

Long back in 2014, I published a short non-fiction book, Maybe This or Maybe That: 37 Things We Didn’t Learn in B-Schools (still available on Amazon Kindle). In that, I coined the word, ‘007 Syndrome’ or the ‘MBA syndrome’. It basically defines an MBA as Kurt Vonnegut defined ‘Pissant’ in his book, Cat’s Cradle.

Before I delve deeper, let me clear it to you, I too identify myself as a ‘pissant’! 😎🤪 And this simply because I am an MBA from a top-notch, Indian B-School too.

You see graduating from an MBA college, especially a reputed one, changes a person character and psyche completely. People no longer remain ‘artless’, ‘authentic’, and ‘ingenuous’, which they usually are, before cracking an entrance exam like CAT, GMAT, etc., with flying colors.

Enough of roundabouts, let me tell you pointwise, what MBAs (from top colleges) are truly like:

1. Arrogant!
2. Hypocrites in general. You can’t believe in what they say in public and what they truly stand for. For example, there are plenty of cases of highly hedonistic MBAs,  madly running after money (private property), completely integerated with ‘crony capitalistic’ world, yet to appear intellectual and sophiscated they would post stuff or say things favoring Socialism and Communism, just because it is still cool among the elite circle. In short, MBAs hide skeletons in their closets.
3. Jealous of everyone, even if the people in question are not even known to them, or even when they earn way less. This leads to point 4.
4. Insecure. They are scared of their future. They crib when they have no work, and they crib when they have a lot of work. They are always thinking about their appraisals, and always worrying whether they will be the next to get fired from their office. They compare themselves a lot with their colleagues, batchmates and peers. For them, the grass is always greener on the other side. If the person in question MBAs are comparing themselves to is not earning as much as them, they will focus on the relationship and personal life. If everything is similar, they will focus upon whether the work profile of the person is better than them or not. This is an endless process. In short, MBAs are always unhappy and uncertain, no matter how much they fake smiles on their faces.
5. The know-it-all people. They know more medical science than doctors. They know more psychology than psychologists and psychiatrists. They know more historical facts than historians. They know more philosophy than philosophy graduates. The list is simply endless. The conclusion: Never ever discuss deep stuff with MBAs. Keep the relation transactional and superficial. 🤪😜
6. Fake, phoney, unauthentic!🤣
7. Cunning Politicians in their small, small world, i.e. office.
8. Absolutely non-adjusting, non-compromising. Why shouldn’t they be? After all, they are all bigshots! 🤣They know everything. They can do anything. 🤪
9. More likely to be corrupt (they are just not in a position to take bribes like goverment employees, so they wring their hands).
10. Not worthy of being good friends, or forging deep relationships in general. For they only look at how useful a person could be to them. ‘You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours. You help me in my career, and I’ll return the favor.’ The moment one is of no use to an MBA in the corporate world, they will cut off ties completely, without giving it a second thought.

More than blaming the MBA colleges, I blame the corporate world, which makes an MBA a ‘pissant’ for life. You see, if an MBA is not a ‘pissant’, they can’t survive at all. One has to have an ‘MBA Syndrome’ so that one can further one’s career, and steer clear of all the man made obstacles (dirty, petty politics).

“Office is bad for Spirituality.” – Abhaidev

I have used this quote in multiple books of mine, because I have seen the changes in my life myself, i.e. before joining an office as a manager, a manager at a reputed company, and leaving my management job, forever. It was a sine wave, as far as my spiritual journey is concerned.

I am happy that I left my management job. I have no issues when it comes to working again for a company. But I will never again join in the capacity of a manager.

Hope you all laughed and enjoyed reading this sarcastic, cynical post on MBAs, the real ‘pissants’ 🤪🤣 Do comment, if you have something to add, especially if it is something funny, or a point I missed.

PS: Kurt Vonnegut died much before MBA became such an important degree. Yet, he was so ahead of his times that each of his book predicts the future, sarcastically. 😇 I recommend his books to everyone. Read all his books, not just Slaughterhouse-Five! 😌